Secret #5 Committing to Self-Focus

A common belief is that a "feminine" woman is suppose to be self-denying and self-sacrificing. While we have supposedly graduated from being servants, we are still expected to serve others and to minister to their needs...

Where did that come from! Parents, grandparents, men?

I have to say I have never felt like that!

I am thankful that I was never told that - Ever!

~Thanks Mom, thanks Dad~

"Lesley herself said that she couldn't have written her two books with children living at home; writing had to wait until they were grown".

I do not agree with the statement at all. When I made the choice to have kids I knew it would be a full time job and yes, I'd have to give up a few things because of this choice. But I also knew I was #1 - not my kids! I know, I know this sounds selfish but I don't care. I know if I don't take care of myself mentally and physically I will get sick and/or go nuts then who would take care of my kids? There is a reason why the flight attendants tell us that in case of an emergency and the oxygen masks drop to put them on ourselves first and then put the mask on your child...

As I read on this is exactly what Gail is saying in this chapter. She gives the definition from the dictionary.

Selfishness is: concerns with one's own interests.

"Women who sacrifice their own fulfillment for their children are often (not always) angry and depressed."

I am not angry and I'm not depressed. I have two happy and healthy boys.

I am selfish and proud of it!

Some sentences I like:

"Many creative women have more ideas than lifetimes: they continue to generate new ideas, but never complete their projects."

"Setting strong personal boundaries is the way to protect ourselves as creative vessels,which is fundamental to creative work."

"Successful creative women also know the importance of self-care."

I didn't have too many thoughts about this chapter - today anyway. I wonder if I re-read this another day with different eyes would I have more "aha" moments?

Sure I would!

Have a great hair day! Becci

Secret #4 – Surrendering to Your Creativity Cycles

Surviving the “void”

The void or the times when I feel so empty of ideas is part of the process of life and creating. I need this time to heal, reflect, rest and re-charge my energies to get ready for my next adventure!

I underlined the entire first page of the segment called “Surviving the Void”. I really, really, really liked the message here! I ended up circling some words and phrases that rang out to me and this is what they were:

~ wise women accept them
~ trust
~ will percolate again
~ fear
~ surviving
~ following the clues
~ remaining true to yourself
~ it’s time has passed, even if we wish otherwise
~ courage is mandatory

Gail wrote:
“You can’t hide from the void – it envelops you and keeps pulling you under like a relentless octopus. When you have discovered the truth the creature will let you go”.
This void does pull me under and begins to destroy me when I fight it! When I accept the void for what it really is (a time to rest and heal) and when I go with the process I don’t get so afraid, upset, depressed…
I see the void as being vital to the journey into the next step in my life or creative venture. Whatever that next step might be, the void is not only the time to deal with and sort out my shit it’s also the time to reflect on what I’ve learned, look at what I’ve done and then to release it (with love) if necessary and then begin to move forward in to my next step or adventure.

The void is the time to get ready!

Once I realize I’m actually in the void and I remember it’s a time to re-charge and get ready than I’m not so mad, lost or afraid. Or not as much anyway! I know I do have a purpose and I become sure of myself and not confused.

The void lasts as long as it needs to. It depends on how much shit I have to sort out, how long it takes me to let the shit go and then how long it takes me to become calm and rested.

The idea here is for me to remember how natural this void time is go with the process but not get to so comfortable with it that I don’t want to leave it! I can see that I would do that!

It's a creative cycle!

Watching for clues:
I am clearly in a void time right now. Although I’m not afraid I am impatient. It seems I keep hitting dead ends with so many of the things I try. My alone time art seems to come together in small steps but art classes, art groups, taking or teaching hairdressing classes - although fun, all seem to end up nowhere. They just end. Maybe my clue here is they don’t need to be going anywhere – right now. Hummm.

Note to God:
I’m ready!
Thank you, Bec

Quote I love:
“Diamonds are only chunks of coal that stuck to their jobs - you see”.